See those long, worried posts down below? That's what anxiety and depression, perhaps a bit of coffee-induced manic, looks like. This is why I can't have nice blogs. I think about deleting what I write sometimes but I try to stay true to myself and present myself as true as I can, for social science's sake. My writing may seem a bit manic and depressing sometimes but that's usually the times I feel like writing so there's a bit of a bias if you view me only in the context of what you see here. A lot of times I feel relatively normal and have nothing of much value to share. I don't know how long I have left on this planet but I don't normally share my thoughts with people so much so I feel like some part of the world somewhere should know a bit about me before I go, not that I plan on leaving any time soon.

It's kind of awesome to think that even after we're gone, our digital life will likely still remain in its present form for a long time to come. Maybe to be revived again when people of the future want to look back and see just what people did when the internet first came about or perhaps as an historical index. Maybe the Google of the future will have the whole internet indexed by year; that would be awesome for the Historians out there.

So much of our lives is digital these days that it would be nice to have a way to privately store it all, such as our pictures, videos, blogs, social site information, etc. I once thought about starting a company that specializes in storing our digital information in something that I'd call a LifeBox but come to find out something similar has/is being done though my implementation would be a bit different. All your digital data would be in a NAS (Network Attached Storage) unit which is filled with as many drives as needed to store all your information. When switched on, if there were any other NAS boxes in the area, it would pick them up. All of this would be controlled by software that would pick up the names of the boxes and a family tree would appear when started. Each box would appear somewhere in the family, or this case, local tree with friends and family mapped by association. You could then click on each virtual box and read who they are, discover related images, videos, etc. The NSA would love to have their own, right? After you're gone, you'll essentially live on in digital remnants. From an historical point of view, that sounds awesome to me but of course, this being information you declare to be shared, otherwise it's perhaps creepy. But it would be something local like that or server-side though until internet speeds improve, that's not very feasible.

I think that was spurned with my slight obsession with having something like Dr. Know from the movie A.I. (inspiring and awesome despite the critics) in the comfort of my living room. I like to have all my ebooks, offline Wikipedia, etc indexed on my hard drive so even offline I have access to lots of information when I need it. Maybe my yearning for information is to make up for my intellectual insecurities. Sometimes I think, and wouldn't be surprised if others thought, that I was an idiot at least at various times of my life. My memory isn't so good and I have a hard time dealing with lots of input coming in at once so sometimes this makes me come off as a scatterbrain. I guess that's why a lot of times I prefer to express myself in text in a controlled environment while under less duress and having more thought clarity. At least that's usually more optimal but sometimes, even now after waking up from what I thought was an early sleep, my mind's not very clear. I feel like sometimes it's running so fast that to jam any kind of input in there it's analogous to fast spinning gears. If I need to listen, I feel like I'm trying to cram a crowbar just to stop it momentarily enough to jam information in there. Sometimes the crowbar breaks and the gears continue before I jammed all the needed information in. I think this gives the impression that I have little working memory. Maybe it's true that I don't, I don't know but I seem to do okay at most mental tasks as long as I'm mentally calm. Oh well, just another day of playing, 'let's figure out what's wrong with Tony.' And for the record, I'm not sure about single vs double quotes there; I've never done that well at English. I guess I could look it up but I'd rather keep pretending that I know what I'm doing. I'm so stubborn sometimes.

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